He lives across the street. I don't know what his real name is, but I call him Bad Cat because any time he comes over he drives the girls wild. Worse, he's lured Sukey out of the back yard twice (you could also say "Sukey chased him out of the back yard twice", but there she went, over the 8-foot fence like a shot)–the first time I only found her because she climbed a tree, and I'm not kidding when I say she was 100 feet up. I had to call a tree service guy to come get her, and it was the weekend after hurricane Rita went through Florida, so a lot of tree guys were down there, so it took a lot of calling…anyway, this very handsome guy rolls up in his truck, straps on big metal spikes, climbs the tree whacking off branches with his machete, plucks Sukey from the fork where she was very definitely wedged, and rapells back down with Sukey clinging to his shoulder like Little Nell to Dudley DoRight. As soon as they hit the ground I clasp my hands and cry "It's like something out of a romance novel!!!" and as I'm stuffing Sukey into her carrier my friend K (did I mention three of my friends were keeping me company? poor Bill the Tree Guy drove into a nest of single females) reached out and very gently daubed the sweat from his forehead. Bill immediately started talking about his wife and daughter, I don't know why!
Sukey was stiff for a couple of days, but was home and safe, and it only cost me $100 to get her back.
But I was talking about Bad Cat. I think he's an unneutered male, because I've seen him spraying things, and after he's been by the girls are very nervous about going into the back yard. All the years I've lived here he's been very standoffish, but I noticed this summer his people weren't around much, and one day, when I spoke to him nicely, he came over and rubbed my legs! He complained bitterly while I was petting him–Damn you! Must you touch me? You missed a spot!–and ended the session with a hiss and a whack, but I felt a breakthrough had been made. I kept an eye on him through the summer, since it seemed like his family's car was gone a lot, but he seemed well fed and muscular.
Summer's over, he hasn't come over to be petted again, so his family must be back. He comes over in the morning to taunt the girls; Sukey claws the windows and Sally yowls.
This evening, as I was getting home from work, Bad Cat snubbed me thoroughly as stalked through my yard on his way home. As he went up his driveway, the blinds in the front window of his house moved, and there! sitting on the windowsill, was a second tuxedo cat–matchingks, from what I could see, though I couldn't count white toes.
Could there be two Bad Cats?
This made me think of him (thanks cheezburger peeple):