A night at Six Flags…

…a day in traction.

No, it wasn't that bad, really. Six Flags is open on weekends this time of year, and hosts nights for the local colleges with their alumni associations, so you can get in for a reasonable price from 6pm-midnight. It really didn't seem like that big a place, so that was more than enough time to do everything, at least everything that was open–no shows, just rides. I went with my friends Amy and George, who were not prepared to brook Wimpy Nonsense from People My Age about going on the rides.

The girls were excited about me going:

Sally says whateverSukey says whatever

The bad part about it being UGA night was the speakers blaring UGA marching band music all damn night.

The orange tracks in the background belong to Goliath, a really really big roller coaster, so big the climb up the first hill takes 45 seconds, more than enough time to repent your sins, write your will, and remember you left the teakettle on the stove.

CO shoutout: fine dining available!


The ride I was really scared about was Superman, where you're strapped in, then tilted forward so you're "flying." It feels just plain Wrong to have your weight on your stomach, not on your bottom where it belongs, where your death grip on the bar may save you if all the bolts on the car rocket away like you know they're just fixin' to do. I nearly fell to my knees and hugged the sweet sweet unmoving solid earth when I got off.

The red tracks belong to Ninja. The car at the top of the first hill was stuck there for a good fifteen minutes (stuck that long, and then have to go through all the loops and stuff? *shudder*). We went on it anyway. The urban legend is that Ninja was designed to make you feel like you'd been beat up by a ninja–it has those over-the-shoulder harnesses that box your ears as you go racketing through the loops, anyway. The white tracks belong to the Great American Scream Machine, a fun swoopy wooden coaster–leave your troubles and your stomach behind!

Amy and I wanted to go on the carousel. George mocked us, but I saved him from riding an unmoving horse anyway.

Batman: The Ride was closed (darn), but the Gotham area was pretty cool:


The last coaster of the night was the Scorcher, where you have to straddle a saddle so you're riding semi-standing up. It was more fun and less scary than I expected, though the saddle part made me worry about the undergraduate wearing the micro-miniskirt.

At the end of the night Amy wanted soft serve ice cream. The ice cream shop told her they couldn't sell her any because they didn't have cups, but Amy was able to track down a manager to tell them Oh yes you do.

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3 Responses to A night at Six Flags…

  1. pyrl says:

    I have a blind love for rollercoasters. I am coaster foolish. What do I love even more than I love rollercoasters? People like you who have the sense and ability to see that rollercoasters are totally nuts. Thank you. Great post. I could never write it because of my coaster sense disability. Plus, your satire skills are teh awesum.

  2. Thanks–I'm almost ready to say I'd do it again next year…almost. The big arch behind the Superman rides belongs to this big bungee swing thing, where willing victims are hoisted high high high in the air and let go to swooooop through the air–crazy, crazy, crazy.

  3. Aubrey says:

    I can handle the wooden rollercoaster at Santa Cruz – all else are out of the question. And of course the 'vomit rides' that Boyfriend loves so much are right out.
    But I am a dervish when it comes to bumper cars. Don't cross me; I'll go three wide on you and take the inside track all the way home!

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