How I spent Valentine’s Day

My friend Amy's idea for Valentine's Day (or Singles Awareness Day, or S. A. D.) was to gather up all her single friends and go to the shooting range. I'd never fired a gun before, so I was glad of the chance, but it's loud and dangerous and the firing range is run by people wearing the Second Amendment printed on their t-shirts, so I was happy to scuttle back to my happy squishy librul world as soon as it was over.

By "dangerous" I mean that even though the range had many rules about gun handling and even though Amy's friend Rob, who was handling the educational part of the shooting experience, was very knowledgeable and very careful, and even though we had been carefully schooled to do nothing but pick up the gun, fire down range, and put the gun down again and step away, I was still mostly convinced that anyminnitnow all the guns would spring to life like in a really bad black-n-white 1930s cartoon and spray us all with hot burning lead, to a soundtrack by Carl Stallings.

By "loud" I mean that even with ear protection being at the range was like being trapped in a box with a giant finger hammering the lid.

Firing a real gun is a lot like firing a nail gun: squeeeeezeBANG!!! except the BANG!!! is louder and a nail gun doesn't spit brass cartridges at your face. I have a tiny cut on my left hand where it got bit by the slide on the top of the gun; my fault for holding it wrong.

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5 Responses to How I spent Valentine’s Day

  1. AmyH says:

    Firing ranges are fun. If you go again, you should wear ear plugs and the big ear protectors that look like earmuffs (if that makes sense). I use both when I go, but I haven't been in a long time.
    Remember, in an attack situation, it's "two to the head – two to the chest!" 🙂

  2. I'm afraid for me it would be "fire wildly and hope something hits!"

  3. AmyH says:

    That's why if you take a self-defense w/guns class, they'll tell you a handgun is a puny weapon. They'll also say what you should have is a shotgun so when any intruder comes in and hears the "ca-chunk" of the cock and load, they'll take off.
    I swear, my instructors were nutjob survivalist types who lived for getting attacked. They thought danger lurks in every corner, every minute of the day. If it wasn't for Asshole Ex-boyfriend who was kind of in that same frame of mind, I wouldn't have bought a handgun or gone to that class.
    But still, going to a firing range and target shooting can be fun.

  4. Aubrey says:

    Work on your accuracy – make your shots neat and close together, until your bulletholes can spell out "VR".

  5. Only if I'm very bored, and the 7% solution ceases to entertain!

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