Edward: not a cold warrior.

  by U-EET
, a photo by U-EET on Flickr.

He was all “I like outside but…nopenopenopenopenope.”

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Korkhenn, with Sochi Chicken variation

This is another entry to a line of cat toys that can be stuffed with a cork from a wine bottle: Korkfisshe, Korkmauser, and Korkmann. The idea is that the cork won’t leave fluff all over the house when kitty disembowels it, but polyfill will work fine if your cat prefers it. A catnip marinade is also a fine thing.



  • US4 dpns
  • Kitchen cotton (ie Sugar n’ Creme, etc.) in two colors, MC and CC
  • darning needle
  • stuffing: either polyfill or a cork from a wine bottle
  • bits of yarn for eyes and beak

1. Cast on 4 st with MC; pull yarn all the way to the right, as if knitting I-cord

2. Knit-front-and-back (kfb) all stitches, knitting each increased stitch on to a new DPN and join to knit in the round (8 stitches, 2 on each needle)

3. Knit 1 round

4. KFB all stitches (16 stitches)

5. Knit 2 rounds

6. KFB all stitches (32 stitches)

7. Knit 4 rounds

8. KFB all st (64 stitches)

If you are a knitter who has seen the movie Chicken Run, at this point you might say to yourself “I don’t want to be made out of pi!”

9. Knit 4 rounds or until hen is big enough. If you want a great big hen, after 8 rounds work another increase round (KFB every stitch), then knit 16 rounds plain; another increase round, then knit 32 rounds plain; at this point the chicken would surely be life-sized.

10.  Break yarn. Add CC, knit 1 round

11. Weave in ends.

12. Fold circle in half and begin to close edges together with 3-needle bindoff, using a stitch from each side of the hen. With a few stitches left to go, stuff the Korkhenn with either a cork or polyfill, then finish the bind off. Weave in ends.

If you know wine, then you know I drink only the best: Three-Buck Cluck.

13. Make the comb: pick up 4 stitches from the fold line, at one end of the hen. With CC, knit 4 rows, then slip 2 stitches to the right needle, then knit those stitches together (SSK), then knit next 2 stitches together (K2TOG). K2TOG once more, then bind off.

14. Embroider eyes, beak, and feet.

Sochi chicken

There’s been a lot of talk on Ravelry about knitting rainbow items during the Sochi games. I normally agree with Samuel Goldwyn: It you want to send a message, use a telegram, but sometimes you want to make a gesture.

This gesture says “Cluck you, Putin!”

It looks like the Gay Pride flag skips indigo, so you’ll need yarns in colors that spell out ROY G BV. I used Caron Simply Soft with US4 dpns.

As in the Korkhenn pattern, cast on with red, KFB all stitches for 1 round (8 stitches), knit 1 round, then KFB all stitches for 1 round (16 stitches).

Switch to orange. Knit 2 rounds, KFB all stitches for 1 round (32 stitches), knit 1 round.

Switch to yellow. Knit 3 rounds, then KFB all stitches for 1 round (64 stitches).

Switch to green. Knit 3 rounds (at this point 4 rounds/color looks like 1 round too many).

Switch to blue. Knit 3 rounds.

Switch to violet. Knit 3 rounds (if you were knitting a larger chicken or a circle shawl, the last row should be an increase round, but for this it’s not necessary).

Switch back to red, knit 1 round plain, then weave in ends.

There are a lot of ends.

Fold the chicken in half and bind off and stuff as for hen.

Add comb as for Korkhenn, or try a Fabulous Comb, made with an extended picot bindoff. I switched to Vanna’s Glamour in Ruby Red, because I come from the Johnny Weir school of protest chicken knitting.

Pick up 5 stitches from the fold line of the chicken. Knit two rows. With a cable cast on, add five stitches to the left needle, then bind off 6 stitches. Repeat twice more, then bind off.

Embroider eyes, beak, and feet.

ETA: It also looks quite tidy if you cast off in violet, without switching to the red:

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Where have I been?

Edward gives me the nose of accusation

It has been a long time since I posted anything–I want to post a pattern in a bit but thought I should check in with everybody first.

There has been knitting:

Can haz cheezburger and cake

This pattern was published here, a pretty big deal! Knitty is a venerable online knitting magazine.

There were cakes:

The yellow thing is sposed to be a Piper Cub, not a flying banana

A 60th birthday cake, commissioned by the wife of the birthday man; the piano was on their wedding cake.

Usually I might get two big cakes like this a year, but these two came on the same weekend.

Since Christmas I’ve had to have a clothes washer, my laptop, and a tooth fixed. The washer unbalanced off its drive belt, and the laptop needed a new keyboard after cat barf got on it–totally my fault, though, I was trying to get Sukey off the couch before she hurled and aimed her in the wrong direction. The tooth was supposed to need a root canal but really needs an extraction, so that’s fun for the future.

The bad bad thing is that Sukey is in her brave last days, like the Enquirer says–she had a lump taken off the back of her leg just after Thanksgiving, and yesterday the vet found an obstruction in her bowel, so it looks like the tumor has spread. Sukey, of course, is such a vet warrior she had to be stuffed in a net to be examined, and I very much don’t want that to be our last memory of each other. She’s home now, seemingly comfortable enough, with some stool softeners to make things flow past the obstruction, and it’s a snow day today, so I get to spend it with her.

She’s had a very rough sanitary clip and looks a bit silly from the back end, so here’s a prettier picture:

The girl with all the whiskers

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Edward says “I wish to fulfill my manly destiny!”

Untitled by U-EET
Untitled, a photo by U-EET on Flickr.

Edward unlocked an achievement today–I was out with him in the back yard when suddenly he dove into the ivy and came up with a lump of fur in his jaws. Cue girly screaming: EDWARDDROPITDROPITDROPIT! He let go when I grabbed him and threw him in the house.

The lump of fur looked to be a shrew, I think–it didn’t scream or wiggle and Edward didn’t fling it about, so it either died the instant it was grabbed or was dead already. Reader, I buried him.

Can I wash Edward’s mouth out with soap? His shots are up to date.

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The cake had it coming

Untitled by U-EET
Untitled, a photo by U-EET on Flickr.

A birthday cake based on this hat:


for a knitting friend who has knit several.

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Cup, cup and away!

Because everything is better with a small red cape.


US #6 dpns

US #8 straight needles

Worsted wool in colors for trunks, belt, tights, and cape: I used Paton’s Classic Wool.

With trunk color, cast on 40 stitches, and join to knit in the round. Place marker at beginning of round and after stitch #20 (the halfway point).

Round 1: *Knit 1, purl one* to end of round.

Rounds 2-9: *K1, P1* three times, k to marker, repeat. This is the pattern for the body of the cupholder.

Round 10: Break trunk color and join belt color. K round plain (this keeps the color change from showing in the purl stitches).

Round 11: *K1, P1* three times, k to marker, repeat.

Round 12: Break belt color and join tights color. K round plain.

Round 13-19:  *K1, P1* three times, k1.

Round 20: Bind off stitches to marker. Break tights color and join cape color, purling to end of round (this keeps the color change under the cape).

Begin to knit the cape flat, switching to larger needles for a flowier cape.

Row 1: Slip first stitch, knit 4, make 1 (I used a backwards loop), turn, slip the first stitch, and purl to end.

Row 2: Slip first stitch, knit to end.

Row 3: Slip first stitch, purl 4, make 1, turn, slip the first stitch, and knit to end.

Row 4: Slip first stitch, purl to end.

Row 5: Slip first stitch, knit 6, make 1, turn, slip the first stitch, and purl to end.

Row 6: Slip first stitch, knit to end.

Row 7: Slip first stitch, purl 6, make 1, turn, slip the first stitch, and knit to end.

Row 8: Slip first stitch, purl to end.

Row 9: Slip first stitch, knit 8, make 1, turn, slip the first stitch, and purl to end.

Row 10: Slip first stitch, knit to end.

Row 11: Slip first stitch, purl 8, make 1, turn, slip the first stitch, and knit to end.

Row 12: Slip first stitch, purl to end.

Continue in stockinette stitch, slipping the first stitch of every row, until the cape is as long as the body of the cup holder. Bind off in purl, on a purl row. Weave in ends.

Wait! come back!

Assure your friends that the cape is, in fact, necessary. Do not garnish your drink with kryptonite.

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What’s happening at my library today

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